High Hopes.

I. Am. Not. Afraid.

Told myself to repeat this to myself every single morning till it grows on me. Throughout my life, I am known as the "fearless" one but I know that I am not. I am afraid.

Afraid of losing

Afraid of trying

Afraid of asking

Afraid of performing well

Afraid of the regrets

And the list goes on.

Too many times had this sense of fear and dread stop me from pursuing the things that I could have had. I guess, now is the time to change. I guess running for this JCRC will probably be a huge-ass step for me. okay, council was nothing. honestly. I am so afraid of the outcome. but i know that I am even more afraid of the regret that would follow if i did not even try. I mean, if i lose it, then i will probably suck it up. (after ranting for it for awhile, duh) But, at the end of the day, i want to feel the sense of accomplishment that i have had done something great for myself.

I have had enough of being a tortoise who shuns and cowers in her pathetic shell. Well, if you ask me, I can say i am pretty confident of my ability for the role. And to be honest, i am just making up excuses to not run for it.

(stop being stupid, cait)

At the end of the day,

I don't want the "could-haves", "would-haves" and "should-haves" anymore.

Because, I Am Not Afraid.

xoxo