why is it every time when i finally decided that a particular person might be categorised under "precious" that i realised that he isnt worth it at all? i hate how as time goes and as i peel off the little layers, i get to see the ugly side of people that i really do not want to see.
there are, different types of ugly. but some uglies are more endurable than others while some are just "omg, can-i-just-punch-your-face-please-shut-up" kind of ugly. (okay, no violence) but the point is yesterday little incident, made me realise something about a person that i thought i would really cherish. but thinking back about everything that happened since last year, (where coincidentally, i had looked at him through rose-colored lenses) i cant help but felt that i was lied to and it hurts. the ugly side of him, that was jarring and miserable.
i feel so silly right now.
so silly to think that he might actually be worth something. silly for meaninglessly stupid actions that led to nothing. silly for bringing down walls that i have to build right back up now.
self-pride. those little uglies, i dont feel like i am confident enough to accept it. am i the only one who actually sees through those "nice eyes" of his?
it really hurts and yet again, i am questioning myself if it would have been this way if things didnt start off the way it had?
i have my own uglies too. and as hannah says, i need to find people who are confident enough to accept mine for mine.
xoxo.
No comments:
Post a Comment