Thantophobic

Is it really worth it?

Is it really worth it for me to put up with all these dramas that happen around me. Is it worth it for me to absorb all their attitudes and their pushing and not do anything? Just the other day, the reflection during assembly, got me thinking. Why am I acting like the chained up elephant, too scared to break away?

Why?

All these petty sentiments are really getting on my nerve. And after the talk with S I just felt so insignificant in their eyes. And well, blessed to have someone who understands me.

We made a pact. Or a promise. (Promise sounds nicer) that no matter what happens when we go university we have to thrash it out. No matter how ugly it is or how stupid it is we need to thrash it all out. Like, even if we hate each other after that at least we know each other’s feelings and we understand each other. More drama now, less knives in the future.

So now, I just can’t wait to go far far far away. Maybe like S says, it’s my defense mechanism acting. To escape when I get trapped.….
I guess.

xoxo.