Wolfing down two Char Siew Paos on my own and with my matcha tea beside me, i cant help but remember the conversations from last night. I knew i was pretty much transparent when it comes to such issues but honestly, i really dont mind if anybody confront me about it. I mean, its so much easier for me if someone ask me about it. (Why would I go around publicising it anyway?)
But, i am still afraid.
Afraid that if i actually confront it on my own, and admit it, i am afraid of falling too fast. Becoming the person that i promised myself that i would never become again. once was enough and it will suck if history has to repeat herself.
(These are times where i need my girls to knock the senses out of me)
Then again, i am still confused. Confused as to whether i actually do feel that way. they say they can sense it. I know, I can too. But i am not sure if it is truly or not. Getting caught in this mindless limbo hurts and it is burdensome.
Since this is the last day of 2015, my new year resolution for this would be to stop thinking and not let it drive me crazy.
xoxo
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